you mean to say we've come all this way without aspirin?

At 4pm on Wednesday I splashed through the clear blue sea off Perhentian Kecil and onto a speed boat to take me back to the Malaysian mainland.

I'd had a great few days here of relaxation, and I was as bit daunted by the long journey to Thailand that now awaited me. Long distance travel is always much more fun at the beginning of the trip, and it's easy to start seeing it in a different light after a few days by a beach on a beautiful island.

After a breakneck journey on the speed boat in which I impressed myself by managing to drink a whole can of beer without spraying it over any other passengers, we moored up at the port of Kuala Besut. At the jetty there was a predictable plethora of taxi drivers and touts awaiting, and I duly agreed a reasonable price with one to take me to the train station in Tanah Merah.

The cab journey was bizarre beyond belief. My driver decided to put on some Malaysian pop music, which I didn't really care one way or the other about, and then also pulled down the passenger side mirror to reveal a small screen showing the videos of the music he was playing. These had the lyrics showing at the bottom, and as if by magic he then pulled a microphone from the glove box and asked if I wanted to sing karaoke. In a taxi. I politely declined on the grounds of being tired...

We arrived in Tanah Merah around two hours before my train was due to leave for Kuala Lumpur, which was far from ideal. Normally I'd view this as an opportunity to see a new place, but this is a small town in the middle of nowhere in a hardline Islamic part of Malaysia. I couldn't imagine there would be much that would keep me entertained...

Opposite Tanah Merah was a KFC, which the karaoke loving taxi driver had suggested as a suitable place for me to hang out while waiting, but I was not doing that. So I strolled around this baking hot and remote town, and was pleased to quickly realise from the smiles all the locals gave me that I would at least be welcome here. Eventually I even found a run down little restaurant that served bottles of beer, which was an unexpected bonus.

At 7.15pm I made my way over to the station, and stormy clouds were gathering overheard. I was glad to see the train arrive on time - not least because it was the only service of the day and I wasn't overly keen on spending a night in Tanah Merah.

With my feet being dirty and sandy, I felt distinctly less comfortable as I clambered onto my bed on the train than I had on Sunday when setting off from KL. I spent the rest of the evening reading, and after a couple of nightcap rum and cokes, I dozed off around midnight. My sleep was interrupted on several occasions either by the train shuddering its way through the jungle, or by some twat in the carriage deciding to have a loud telephone conversation at 3.30am...

The train pulled into KL just before 9am - an hour and a half late, but not something I was upset about as it meant more time in bed. I felt all right as I got my stuff together to leave, but then as I walked onto the train platform I was hit by the heat and humidity and felt very queasy. A few moments later I was rushing to find a toilet, the reasons for which I shall not reveal on a family web site...

I stumbled around KL Sentral station trying to work out how to get to the airport, and after buying a ticket for the express train I decided to get some grub as I still had a bit of time to spare. As much as I adore Asian food, I can rarely face it in the morning (particularly when feeling under the weather), so I ordered a cheese omlette, baked beans, toast and a cup of tea. After wolfing it all down, I caught the train to the airport, followed by a bus to the Low Cost Carrier Terminal where my flight was from.

As I sat yawning and generally feeling shite on the Air Asia service to Krabi, I cursed myself for attempting such an arduous journey just days after two other all night extravaganzas. This is a two week holiday - not a gap year going round the world, Matthew.

Got to Krabi Airport, then caught a taxi to a place where I could buy boat tickets and purchased my fare to Phi Phi Island for 350 bhat. I was then taken to the pier in the back of a dodgy old van with a group of other beer swelling travellers. As the dust and grit from the road blew in our faces as the driver attempted one reckless manoeuvre after an another, I knew I was back in Thailand...

At 1.30pm I boarded the boat to Phi Phi - the last leg of this rather absurd journey. Nothing had gone wrong as such, but it was just too much coming off the back of too much and I had spent a good proportion of the trip trying not to spew my guts up. At 3pm the boat gently pulled into the stunning surroundings of Koh Phi Phi, and now I could look forward to a few days of complete relaxation in one of the most amazing places in the whole world...